Halfway to none.

The reveal

Incognito

Running Errands

Just a little longer

Merry Christmas to You!  Here are the many faces of me. 

So, it's been a busy little month, sorry for not keeping this updated.  I had my 2nd treatment on December 19 - 2 down 6 to go....It was a little harder to bounce back from -- according to nurses and docs - it's cumulative so that's to be expected.  No real sickness though, just the nausea and general blah and fatigue.   I felt good for the holidays which is what I was hoping would happen.  

Going for the "new haircut" today. :/  It's falling out fairly heavy.  Part of me wants to wait til the last minute or until a big clump comes out but I think I would rather take control and just "git er done".  Losing hair really isn't that big of a deal...stay tuned -- maybe not today, but eventually I will post a pic.

I am still feeling good, however, I am very sad at today's events in Connecticut.  This little town is where my sister Vicky lives.  I have been there, it is so picturesque and "homey".  I have been to the Sandy Hook Elementary School to pick up Vicky's children when they went there long ago.  About a week after my diagnosis, I received a package in the mail from my sister.  A parishioner in her church knitted me a prayer shawl, which the Ministers and Vicky prayed over and blessed and sent to me.  Such a loving gesture by a complete stranger and now, their little town needs the prayers.  I hope they feel the love and comfort from everyone around the nation.

Well, I was hoping to report that after a week, I was doing okay and handling this pretty good, which was the case up until Monday.  I completed the anti-nausea meds and assumed that from then on I would be getting better all the time and wouldn't need anymore - wrong.  I needed more.  Monday night/ Tuesday morning was very "flu-like".  Ron called UCD and they refilled my prescriptions and I am doing well again.  I met with Dr. Christensen's PA today and He said it's a process of figuring out how long I need to be on the anti-nausea medicine after treatment.  I will just have to listen to my body and figure things out, but I have to say, with the meds, I have been pretty good, still out and about, doing routine things and getting some Christmas shopping in.  The next 2 weeks should be uneventful and then we start the process all over again.  I have had a lot of support - Thank You.

Feeling pretty good again today --- My doctors  must be great mixologists.  I just sent a text that said I am in for the Sacred Heart Home Tour -- I know it doesn't seem like that big of a deal,but it is part  of my holiday traditions and  I have been trying to keep my life and my families life as closeto normal as possible so I am very happy to be able to go and get this years Christmas ideas.

I have felt pretty good again today.  Had to go back to the CC (Cancer Center) because I am in a clinical trial for Lympodemia, it is a 2 year study to see if I get swelling in my arm - so far - no.  Ron and I also did a little shopping while we were out.  My worst symptom is heartburn and a little headache -  both being normal.   Saw a little girl about 4 outstide the CC while waiting for our car -- she was smiling and happy in all pink but when her hat came off there was the tell tale bald head -- to me, that would  be soo much worse.   I am lucky with the family and friends I have and my wonderful out of work side-kick....this is just a process.

One down, seven to go! It was a long session this time (4+ hours) because there was a lot of information to go over regarding the treatment I was about to receive and the anti nausea meds I have to take at home. Ron was with me the entire time.  I had a minor meltdown - but it was very brief - just felt overwhelmed - snapped out of it and the rest of the time was kind of boring.  I think I will definitely be glad to have my ipad.  Have felt fine tonight.  We will see what tomorrow brings.  Thank you all for the prayers, positive thoughts and support -- it means a lot!

The countdown has really begun - tomorrow is the first day of treatment.  I have to admit I am nervous but I  have really felt an outpouring of love, caring and support this week through social media, in person visits and good ol' fashioned mail, so a big THANK YOU,  I really appreciate all the support.   I went to the Jesuit Fashion Show today and it did not disappoint. I started going when my now 40 year old brother was a Freshman and it has been a traditional to the Christmas season for 29 years now.   I am so glad I was able to keep the tradition going.

The date has been set.  My first Chemo treatment will be on Wednesday, November 28th, so I still get to go to the Jesuit Fashion Show, but I guess the home tour(s) will be a wait and see.  Oh well, I think this timing will also put me in a good place for Christmas and I am glad to start the process...the sooner I start, the sooner I am done.

Thursday, November 15th,  I met with Dr. Christensen again to go over what treatment route I decided to do (for someone who doesn't like to make decisions this process has been a true test for me).  I opted for the 24 week treatment which is a treatment of Adriamycin and Cytoxan every three weeks for 4 doses, then a treatment of either Taxol or Taxotere every 3 weeks for 4 doses. When I complete the AC doses, I begin getting the Herceptin, which I will get for a year.  I also am getting a Echocardiogram to get a baseline for my hear, since some of this medicine may cause heart damage.
I left the doctor and Ron took me to the airport to catch up with my Mom for a long weekend in San Diego.  We went to see Cavalia which was created by some of the same people who created Cirque de Soleil.  Came home from the show and there were 3 raccoons at the neighbors house.  Maybe I have a connection with raccoons (?) It was a wonderful show, and I highly recommend it.  The weather was beautiful and it was a very relaxing weekend.
Now I wait for the call to schedule my first Chemo visit.  Hopefully I can schedule it and be able to continue the annual tradition of the Jesuit Fashion Show, the Sacred Heart Holiday Home Tour and time it right to be feeling pretty good at Christmas.....fingers crossed.

Yesterday I met with my Medical Oncologist, Scott Christensen for probably over an hour.  It was a long, informative, a little overwhelming, interesting conversation full of questions, answers, and "what-ifs".  He was very thorough in explaining what type of breast cancer I have and the treatment options.  I will not be as thorough because I can't find the piece of paper the doctor wrote and drew everything on.....darn it!

Anyway the ductal carninoma I have is classified as a T1C N1 M0 (Tumor 1-tumor is 2cm or less C-tumor is more than 1cm and less than 2cm  N-cancer cells in lymph nodes 1 - in < 9 lymphnodes (I think) M -for mastastified or spread to other places 0-mine hasn't.  In addition to this, mine is high grade - which means it is a fast spreading cancer (there are margins for low med and high grade but I don't remember the numbers....mine was well into high grade)

There is basically 3 types of treatment for breast cancer (at least with the UCD system)  

Chemotherapy

Hormonal Therapy 

Biological treatments (Herceptin)

What treatment you get depends on the type of cancer (the link above for Herceptin, will also tell you the 2 types of treatment I can have).  In the cancer cell there are receptors.  If you test positive for "ostrogen receptors" - (which I think the doc said are Estrogen and Progesterone) you can do the hormonal therapy - I am negative for these, so I don't get any Hormonal therapy 

If you test positive for the Her 2 protein you get a biological treatment which in this case is Herceptin - which goes after only cancer cells - I did test positive for this.

So basically, and this is where I might be a little off on the numbers, I was told that with regular breast cancer of my type, if I did no further treatment as of right now there is a 30% reoccurance rate. Because I tested negative for the Ostrogen receptors I get a slightly higher rate of reoccurance and since I tested positive for the Her 2 protein I have a slightly higher rate of reoccurance.  My final percentage of reoccurance was 40%....If I did nothing else.
With treatment and I have some choices as to what that will be the number decreases.  With any of the 3 plans laid out to me the reoccurance rate drops to <20%, it varies somewhat with the frequency, and choice of treatment.  I have a week to stew on all of this, my next appointment in a week is to make the decision as to my path and to open our calendars and "book it"

You have now completed Mary's cancer 101 --- don't worry there's not a test....for you!

Post op appointment went well today.  I was able to give back the "drain pipe and bag" - YAY- that was a little annoying and icky, besides, I can now shower, shave, and generally feel like a regular person again.  I thought I was meeting with a Medical Oncologist resident on the 21st because the three attending physicians I asked about couldn't see me until December 4th,  but when I got home and played my answering machine, my appointment has been changed to November 6th (!) with Scott Christensen, an attending physician and breast cancer specialist - referred to me by 2 different people and my first choice so....Yikes that's soon!!! - but YAY again!!

I did go get a haircut - so I am halfway there (about 4 inches off and layered)....think Lisa Renna and hopefully you aren't like the stylist who said "who?"

Onward...

A nice surprise visit from one of my favorite girls (Savannah Arjil -- a close friend of Kassidy's) and she brought me "boobie cupcakes"!...funny!  They were a hit!

I knew my regular doctor sent my pathology results to me, but just noticed her comment at the top:

"Yay! No surprises.  1.5 cm cancer, completely resected. And only the single lymph node with cancer.  Hope you are healing up well"

This is why I have this Doctor!! She also took the time to talk to Ron during his regular appointment to see how He is doing, (He said she was even tearing up while talking) and I am sure she will be doing the same with Kassidy at her appointment today.  I have been saying all along, I have all the right people in place to deal with this!

Surgery went well yesterday.  I am really happy with the UCD system.  I was the Doc's first surgery and made sure to ask him if his day started out good and he was good to go.  My worst irritant (not even pain) is actually my throat from having the breathing tube while being under the anesthetic.  I went in at 6:30, operated at 8:30 and headed home by 2:30.  They gave me an anti nausea patch (same as you wear for sea sickness) and it works.  I slept most of yesterday so had a little trouble actually going to sleep at night, but feel well rested today.  I guess the process has begun -- next step is in about a month...bum bum bum -- that one scares me a little, but will face it when it's time.  Will follow up after my post op appt next week unless anything happens in between but for right now I am doing well.  Thank you all for your kind words, prayers and support!

Oh and....I made it to the World Series ;D

Thanks Geoff!

Today was a little hard, I had to say goodbye or actually "See you later" to my coworkers.  I truly enjoy working in the Library and interacting with the students.  Even though I plan to return, it was hard to leave -- my library helpers made me a poster and cards, and got teary as we were leaving.  I hope I can make it to their promotion, because they will have moved on to middle school when I return.

I have been researching mastectomy vs. lumpectomy and have come to the conclusion that for me, lumpectomy is the way to go.  The reoccurence rate is marginally if at all more than mastectomy and with my doctor's credentials and studies, I think I am in good hands.  I had to let my school know that I wouldn't be able to work, kind of sad because I really do love working there.  My Principal assured me that if I want to come back I will be able to, so that's reassuring.  I guess the countdown has begun.

Finally I met with my surgical oncologist...Dr. Bold....cool name huh?   He actually said he felt like Oz because he came from behind the curtain and had all the answers...true enough!
I have Stage 2 breast cancer, stage 2 because it spread from the duct to a lymph node.  A little weird to be relieved that I have breast cancer, but the good news is all I have is what I knew I had...meaning nothing was found anywhere else.
My treatment begins October 23 -- surgery --- lumpectomy or mastectomy.  My doctor -- who I googled and am more than pleased with his qualifications and expertise, says it's up to me -- he didn't think one was any better ir worse than the other, obviously a mastectomy is more invasive and would require reconstruction , whereas a lumpectomy wouldn't.  Still pondering this one.
After surgery and about 4 to 6 weeks recovery I will be on chemo for 3 to 6 months and Herceptin for 1 year.  When I am done with the chemo, I will have radiation to the area.
It probably will not be the most fun year I have ever had, but the outcome is positive and although I will have to "check in" for the rest of my life.....I will have the rest of my life....hopefully a long one!
I guess overall it was a good day -- I have my answers and direction...onward down the "pink" brick road.

A message from my regular doctor today--

"This looks good I wanted you to have it ASAP -- Please email me if you have any questions"

IMPRESSION:
2.8 CM KNOWN INFILTRATING DUCTAL CARCINOMA AT 12 O'CLOCK IN THE RIGHT BREAST, WITH A KNOWN MESTASTATIC AXILLARY LYMPH NODE ON THE RIGHT.  NO OTHER ABMORMALITIES ARE SEEN

I am taking this as a good sign.  I don't know why she didn't send my bone and CT scan results when they came, maybe they went only to the Oncologist.  Anyway, I am feeling better about Monday and meeting with the Surgical Oncologist, but can't wait until I have all the answers and the treatment plan in action.

I went for an MRI today.  I must say for someone who gets claustraphobic, I did Okay.  So far, I am glad to be in the UCD system.  The people have all been really great, even when they forget to give me earplugs....Holy cow there must be a way to make that machine less noisy.  Garbage truck, train horn and an amplified assortment of ticks, bells and whistles all in one!  Now for Monday when I FINALLY find out the results of all these tests - fingers crossed, praying and thinking good thoughts.

Really.....jury duty???  As much as I actually like to do my civic duty, I think I will take a "pass" this time around.

I turned 50, my husband retired after 30 years as a Fire Captain and I was diagnosed with breast cancer all in the same month!
It's only been a short while since I first had my diagnosis.  This blog will be an attempt to document my journey and keep my friends, family and maybe a few others informed of the information I receive and my daily dealings getting through this.
I discovered the lump not through a thorough exam that we are all told to do, but rather by accident.  I don't really remember if I was making an adjustment or how I came across the "bump", I just took note and since I knew I was due to see the doctor for my "yearly", I made a quick appointment.
When I went for a mammogram and they asked for more pictures and then an ultrasound I had the feeling it wasn't a good sign.  Then came a biopsy.  When my doctor called, I could hear in her voice it wasn't good news.  I called her back and the biopsy confirmed I have a ductal carcenoma which is not contained, meaning...there were 2 spots, the lump I felt and a lymph node under my arm.
I have since had a bone scan and CT scan, I have an MRI next, and my first meeting with an Oncologist will be next week.  I am a little scared, but mostly just want answers, the hardest part right now is the wait...and the telling people.  I am not one that wants to be the focus of attention, never have been, but there are people that I need to tell, my husband, my daughters, my mom, close friends...
Now, to wait....for results, to talk to the doctors, for treatment....I guess at this point I have nothing further except, to be continued...